HQ

Yesterday Emily, Amber, Christine, and I went to a YSA lake activity. We went to Stillhouse Hollow lake...wow! Why had we never been there before? The water was perfect and so clear! Lots of people showed up, which is always a bonus. Brother Hodson brought a boat and raft..whoohoo! I suppose, like any single girl, we all went to the activity with thoughts of meeting someone cool...not even like a boyfriend...just a cool, "normal" who will be fun to hang out with. With all the freaks we meet on a continual basis, we still always hold out some hope that there will be someone normal in the crowd. Wrong. Very wrong. There were some normals, but they didnt talk to me. Instead, there was Daniel.

*Warning* The following story is true. None of the names have been changed in hopes that Daniel will run across this blog and want to hide his huge head in the sand forever. Any and all events can been documented and verified by several sources.

After some swimming, we finally got a turn to ride on the boat. Everything was fabulous! Everyone got to take turns driving the boat. During the switch-up of drivers, this boy with an abnormally large head sat by me. By large head, i mean its a freaking helicopter landing pad. It's huge. He has the nickname HQ. It stands for Headquarters. Instead of enjoying the boatride and scenery, I had to listen to him ramble on and on about who knows what. Get a clue buddy, we are on a speed boat, I cant hear a word you are saying. I didnt want to be rude, so I just nodded my head and said "yeah" a lot. The more he talked, the more mouth foam he produced. White bits gathered at the corners of his mouth and when he talked, white strings were flowing in the wind. I dry-heaved and had to turn my head. *i'm on the verge of puking right now* When the boat ride was over, we all jumped out for a swim. I swam fast, far far away from him and the boat. I turn around, and holy crap! he's two inches from me. I'm starting to think this guy is a total freak. The next two hours were spent dodging him in the water. However, no mater how fast I swam, the freak followed me everywhere. He went under the water and grabbed my legs. Bastard. I told him to stop. "ok" he said. He did it again. I told him to stop and that I DO NOT like to play in the water. "ok, you have my word". He said that when the boat came back with the raft that I would have to go on it with him. Hell no. He assured me he was medic-trained and that I had no need to worry. Hell no. After dodging him for an hour, he finally swims away. Yes! He returns shortly though, hugging a floating ball. He informs me that he got the ball so that I can use his body as a flotation devise. WHAT?! He says he doesnt want me to use all my strength treading water. During the course of events, Kenny jokes around about proposing to me. the freak yells, "Stand in line! I'm trained in survival, so if we fight, I'll totally win". At one point, Jason started skipping rocks. I comment how cool that is, so the freak goes over and starts throwing rocks for 10 minutes. While he's distracted, Emily and I swim far away. He lurks and watches us for 30 minutes. He finally got out. Whew! I'm am rid of him! I decide to wait for him to leave before i get out of the water. He never leaves. An hour passes. He's still there. I see him talking to someone and pointing at me, so I wait some more. When I finally do get out of the water, I find that he is taking pictures and videos of me. Bastard! I yell at him and tell him that is rude. He asked if we could have our picture taken together. No! I told him I looked nasty after spending 6 hours in the water. He got very serious, and said, "Dont say that Angela. You look beautiful." That's just sick. I know exactly how I looked, and if liked that, then he needs to be shot. Then he asked me out. Good thing the dummy doesnt have a car otherwise I would be in trouble. I had to say yes because there were other people listening...what else could I do? He has my number, but I'll be sure not to answer any strange phone calls anytime soon.

Last night Emily, Christine and I stayed up late, our minds still hurting from the experience. Eventhough they weren't the one's being mentally and physically accosted, they felt my pain.

I learned a lesson from it all. You simply cant be nice to freaks. You give them an inch, and before you know it, thier oversized head with spit bits, crazy eyes, and slanted mouth are all over you.

Money spent buying burgers for 40 people: $60
Gas money spend on traveling to the activity: $6
The experience of being molested in every way by a freak egg-head: Priceless

My Dad wrote "Top 10" lists for me

Top 10 things overheard when Angels is on the phone:

10. No, Jake!
9. He's ten years younger than me...again!
8. I'm not sure I'm going to like him because I graduated with his mom and she was a brat
7. I'm gonna teach drivers ed so I can get the young guys in my car
6. I like bringing guys around to my political view, but it gets me down when they're too young to vote.
5. My boyufriend can't leave campus at lunch, but he can stay up til 10 o'clock
4. I threw another pencil at Justin. Come to think of it, I throw pencils at all the guys my age.
3. None of my boyfriends have ever filed a tax return but they get pretty good allowances.
2. I like to hang out wiht Christine because she's got the hook-up with the primary guys.
1. It really turns me on when they call me Sister Kirkham



ohh wait...it gets better.



Top 10 things said by Angela on a date:

10. Dont argue with me. you know its safer to sit backwards in your car-seat!
9. Wendy's or Sonic is fine with me but either way i'm going to burp you
8. I think 'somebody' needs a nap
7. your long pants make you look like such a big boy
6.I'm going to give you a lollipop fo rnot crying at the barber
5. I'll have the filet mignon and he'll have a Similac
4. thanks for going on a date with me, and yes, i'm sure i'm the Tooth-Fairy
3. If you dont go to prom with me, i'm not giving you that Sponge-Bob Square-Pants lunch box
2. Power Rangers, Power Rangers! Can we just watch Friends?
1. I'm taking you back to Mommy now, because I think I smell a stinky.

haha...yes, very funny. believe me, there's a lot more where this came from. fun at my expense! Pretty accurate though, I have to say.

Mother Nature, or whatever

to all those who dont know me, let me introduce myself. My name is Angela... I'm normal 15% of the time and an idiot the other 75%.

I feel better now having said that.

Do you ever wonder what people are up to at random times during the day? I always wonder to myself, "What's Lindsay Lohan (or some other Hollywood twit) doing while i'm waking up at the crack of dawn to drive to work where I dont make $100,000 for endorsing orange tan spray"?

I learned my friend was in the ICU this weekend and nearly died. Wow. What was i doing at that moment? Probably swimming, star-gazing around a campfire, or shopping. I have no point. Just a thought. It's just so wierd to me.

What's George Bush's day like? Does the guy ever sleep? He's busier than I am an he still finds time to excercise and I can't find an hour to get my butt to the gym. I wonder if he has a favorite flavor of Blue Bell ice cream. Do you think he has HEB Hill-Country-Fair products at his ranch? I think it would be really fun to chill with George for a day or two. He has a truck!

My dad was watching TV's funniest bloopers tonight. I like to hear my dad laugh...especially when i'm in another room and i can hear him laugh so hard he starts to cough. He has a contageous laugh. I'm happy he's 54.

There's this guy who sits behind me in my statistics class. He's fat, hairy, and talks a lot. Did i mention irritating? Stats is not easy for me..i have to hang on every word my professor says. While trying to listen...the fat, hairy man will say, "Now what did he just say? Did you hear what he just said? I didnt hear how to solve the problem". I'll ignore him but he keeps on til i answer him. Even if i know the answer, I just say, "I dont know" and turn back around. Still, wouldnt you know in the two seconds it took me to say that, I am somehow completely lost and on my way to failing stats. My jaw starts to stick out I want to shove the hairy man over, full well knowing that if I did, he wouldnt be able to get up for 30 min...which is all the time I need to learn what my professor needs to teach me. If the fat, hairy guy was deaf, I would have pitty on him. But he's not. The reason he cant hear anything is because he typing emails and checking out Ebay. He seems to be a fairly good typist...I know that because he types fast and loud the entire f-ing class. Even today, during our final...yes, while everyone else was scrawling out equations, the fat, hairy beast was f-ing typing an f-ing email! The only thing that saved that fat, hairy, f-ing beast was the fact that I had studied and knew what I was doing. Because believe me, if I had been needing the extra concentration, that fat, hairy, beast of a man would have been toast. Which brings me to another thought...perhaps I should save such anger for people like this fat, hiary beast in stead of bestowing it upon my friends who I tend to throw hissy-fits and highlighters at. Yes, good idea. I will be mean to those fat, hairy beasts who deserve it , and not mean to those who dont.

For those who want to see that fat, hairy f-ing beast, I unfortunately have a class with him this fall. I will sneek a picture of him and post it for all to see. I'm also sure there will be more...many more...fat, hairy man stories to tell once that class starts.