HQ

Yesterday Emily, Amber, Christine, and I went to a YSA lake activity. We went to Stillhouse Hollow lake...wow! Why had we never been there before? The water was perfect and so clear! Lots of people showed up, which is always a bonus. Brother Hodson brought a boat and raft..whoohoo! I suppose, like any single girl, we all went to the activity with thoughts of meeting someone cool...not even like a boyfriend...just a cool, "normal" who will be fun to hang out with. With all the freaks we meet on a continual basis, we still always hold out some hope that there will be someone normal in the crowd. Wrong. Very wrong. There were some normals, but they didnt talk to me. Instead, there was Daniel.

*Warning* The following story is true. None of the names have been changed in hopes that Daniel will run across this blog and want to hide his huge head in the sand forever. Any and all events can been documented and verified by several sources.

After some swimming, we finally got a turn to ride on the boat. Everything was fabulous! Everyone got to take turns driving the boat. During the switch-up of drivers, this boy with an abnormally large head sat by me. By large head, i mean its a freaking helicopter landing pad. It's huge. He has the nickname HQ. It stands for Headquarters. Instead of enjoying the boatride and scenery, I had to listen to him ramble on and on about who knows what. Get a clue buddy, we are on a speed boat, I cant hear a word you are saying. I didnt want to be rude, so I just nodded my head and said "yeah" a lot. The more he talked, the more mouth foam he produced. White bits gathered at the corners of his mouth and when he talked, white strings were flowing in the wind. I dry-heaved and had to turn my head. *i'm on the verge of puking right now* When the boat ride was over, we all jumped out for a swim. I swam fast, far far away from him and the boat. I turn around, and holy crap! he's two inches from me. I'm starting to think this guy is a total freak. The next two hours were spent dodging him in the water. However, no mater how fast I swam, the freak followed me everywhere. He went under the water and grabbed my legs. Bastard. I told him to stop. "ok" he said. He did it again. I told him to stop and that I DO NOT like to play in the water. "ok, you have my word". He said that when the boat came back with the raft that I would have to go on it with him. Hell no. He assured me he was medic-trained and that I had no need to worry. Hell no. After dodging him for an hour, he finally swims away. Yes! He returns shortly though, hugging a floating ball. He informs me that he got the ball so that I can use his body as a flotation devise. WHAT?! He says he doesnt want me to use all my strength treading water. During the course of events, Kenny jokes around about proposing to me. the freak yells, "Stand in line! I'm trained in survival, so if we fight, I'll totally win". At one point, Jason started skipping rocks. I comment how cool that is, so the freak goes over and starts throwing rocks for 10 minutes. While he's distracted, Emily and I swim far away. He lurks and watches us for 30 minutes. He finally got out. Whew! I'm am rid of him! I decide to wait for him to leave before i get out of the water. He never leaves. An hour passes. He's still there. I see him talking to someone and pointing at me, so I wait some more. When I finally do get out of the water, I find that he is taking pictures and videos of me. Bastard! I yell at him and tell him that is rude. He asked if we could have our picture taken together. No! I told him I looked nasty after spending 6 hours in the water. He got very serious, and said, "Dont say that Angela. You look beautiful." That's just sick. I know exactly how I looked, and if liked that, then he needs to be shot. Then he asked me out. Good thing the dummy doesnt have a car otherwise I would be in trouble. I had to say yes because there were other people listening...what else could I do? He has my number, but I'll be sure not to answer any strange phone calls anytime soon.

Last night Emily, Christine and I stayed up late, our minds still hurting from the experience. Eventhough they weren't the one's being mentally and physically accosted, they felt my pain.

I learned a lesson from it all. You simply cant be nice to freaks. You give them an inch, and before you know it, thier oversized head with spit bits, crazy eyes, and slanted mouth are all over you.

Money spent buying burgers for 40 people: $60
Gas money spend on traveling to the activity: $6
The experience of being molested in every way by a freak egg-head: Priceless