I should have become a hairdresser

...because THEN i would somehow know the correct way to tell people how to cut my hair. apparently when you get your hair cut, you have to tell them the opposite of how you want it. everytime i need a cut, i explain in detail how i would like my hair cut...how long, what style, etc. I even bring a picture. EVERY TIME i being a picture. even with all the visual aids, the damn people cut my hair the exact opposite of what i want. today i told the lady NOT to cut my hair so short that she would have to shave the back. five minutes later i had clippers on my neck. i was too mad to say anything (which must mean i was really mad because i normally have zero problem voicing my thoughts). now i look like a butch lesbian who just had a haircut in a mental faciltiy . so what's a girl to do? i cried all day about it. now i have to insist that i am, in fact, not a butch lesbial mental patient. AND i have to listen to people say how much they like it when they are really thinking "she sure does look like that butch lesbial mental patient i saw on that lifetime movie last week".

also, i put my notice in at work!!! yeah!! i only have five more weeks of selling damn gloves. who sells gloves anyway? quitting this job will be like a breaking up with someone. it'll be uncomfortable to a little while, but i'll sure be happy once it's over.

speaking of breakups...ah...nevermind

emily, amy, and I got an apartment in dallas this weekend! it's lovely. they will be moving in the first of November but i wont move until late dec or early january.

i got called as Relief Society teacher again. this calling is stalking me. apparently i have a lot to learn. if i get that same calling in dallas, i will cry. here's to teaching wonderful lessons the next three months so i never have to do it again. crap...i'm so gonna get called as a teacher until my attitude changes.

it's fall again and you know what that means!!! my pink boots can be worn again.

if anyone is interested, christine's blog is : http://www.uclanteaandcrumpets.blogspot.com/

i'd love to be in england too. someday when i'm rich, married to a wealthy man, and have a haircut that does not resemble a butch lesbial mental patient


****DISCLAIMER****
i dont intend to offend ayone else with short hair. it just looks bad on me. i'm too fat and pudgy for a short haircut. it is a well known fact that if i do not style my short haircut properly and apply make-up....i look EXACTLY like Charlise Theron in Monster. She played a butch lesbian serial killer...close enough to my mental patient look.

i'm baaaaack!

In the world of myspace, there is almost next to zero privacy, so I refuse to blog there. good hell...I just realized i'm 28 and i'm on myspace. what has my world come to? anyway, i'm happy that only a few people read things here...so here i am.

the past 6 months have been VVG. that's very very good in bridgett jones language. and believing that i am bridgett, i'm having a hard to adjusting to the no boyfriend world. it sucks. even though it kinda sucked before, and i wanted to break up with him...it still...sucks. i sure use lots of ....'s dont i? cant help it. jason was the most normal of all the boys.

i saw Lady In The Water this weekend. I wanted to punch myself in the face halfway through it. I'm a penny-pincher, and since I paid $5 to see it, I watched the whole thing. I would advise everyone to not see it, but if you do, give me a call afterwards and we can bitch about how much we both want those two hours back.

On a lighter note. The Sonic Man has reappeared into my life! It's been a year and a half since we've dated (meaning me going through the drive-thru and him giving me my route 44 diet coke) and he still remembered my name. Holla!

I havent done anything to embarrass myself lately...minus that one night in Dallas after the dance. I should probably formally apologize to Amber, Mike, Jasmine, and Emily. Rar. Thank goodness there are no pictures. Blackmail is getting expensive these days.

i have pink boots!

i have decided to blog. the day have come. i have nothing to say, but so much crap will flow frommy fingertips anyway :) here we go...

so i decided i wanted a pair of pink cowgirl boots for christmas. melissa got some, and they are to-die-for! of course, being a girl, i had to ask melissa's permission to get the same shoes because some girls are a little wierd like that and get all boo-hooy when they think someone is copying them...so silly! anyway, she gave me the 'ok' so mom agreed to get them for me as a christmas gift (they are quite expensive, so thank you mom). left me first explain that this is not a rash decision. i have found my inner cowgirl. in my quest for cowgirlhood, i came to realize i have for the past 20 years been suppressing the real me. it turns out that when i was little, i had a favorite pair of red cowgirl boots that i wore with everything. i also had a cool cowgirl leather belt with my name branded in it. i just found the belt not long ago. it's so little it wont even fit around my dog. for whatever reasons, i have suppressed the country chick within, but when i saw melissa's pink boots, somethin tugged at my heart and i HAD TO HAVE THEM!!!!

*disclaimer* the boots are brown at the bottom, so you dont see the pink unless i pull my pant leg up....which is an delightful suprise to everyone because i am oft seen pulling up my pant leg in the most peculiar of places like HEB.

anyhoo, i have little experience in buying country clothes etc. We went to Cavender's Boot City and i started my quest to find my pink boots. We walked up an ddown the isles forever to no avial...i couldnt find them anywhere. i started trying on other boots to see if i might like them better, but they fit funny and they were not PINK! in frustration, i kept going on and on about how i just didnt see any pink boots anywhere. doh! in my frustration i notice a guy chuckling to himself. well, it turns out i was in the men's section. doh! after further inspection i found the ladies section and got my boots. after a 40 minute wait in line, they were mine....yeah!

i've worn them almost everywhere. today i was cleaning house in a t-shirt and capri pants. i decided to wear my boots with them. it's a great look. infact, i'm in the same outfit now :) i took the trash out in this outfit a minute ago and my mom was worried i would get made fun of. who cares? i have pink boots!!! i told amber i would were this outfit in a store if she paid me...she's thinking about it.

amber does not like the new me i am afraid. at least the country listening me. i used to listen to country 10% of the time..now its 50%. i also went country dancing. cowboy's in wranglers used to bother me...hmmm, not a problem anymore.

in unrelated news i amobsessed with jimmy stewart. he's is/was/always will be a great man, and i love him....cowboy or not.

HQ

Yesterday Emily, Amber, Christine, and I went to a YSA lake activity. We went to Stillhouse Hollow lake...wow! Why had we never been there before? The water was perfect and so clear! Lots of people showed up, which is always a bonus. Brother Hodson brought a boat and raft..whoohoo! I suppose, like any single girl, we all went to the activity with thoughts of meeting someone cool...not even like a boyfriend...just a cool, "normal" who will be fun to hang out with. With all the freaks we meet on a continual basis, we still always hold out some hope that there will be someone normal in the crowd. Wrong. Very wrong. There were some normals, but they didnt talk to me. Instead, there was Daniel.

*Warning* The following story is true. None of the names have been changed in hopes that Daniel will run across this blog and want to hide his huge head in the sand forever. Any and all events can been documented and verified by several sources.

After some swimming, we finally got a turn to ride on the boat. Everything was fabulous! Everyone got to take turns driving the boat. During the switch-up of drivers, this boy with an abnormally large head sat by me. By large head, i mean its a freaking helicopter landing pad. It's huge. He has the nickname HQ. It stands for Headquarters. Instead of enjoying the boatride and scenery, I had to listen to him ramble on and on about who knows what. Get a clue buddy, we are on a speed boat, I cant hear a word you are saying. I didnt want to be rude, so I just nodded my head and said "yeah" a lot. The more he talked, the more mouth foam he produced. White bits gathered at the corners of his mouth and when he talked, white strings were flowing in the wind. I dry-heaved and had to turn my head. *i'm on the verge of puking right now* When the boat ride was over, we all jumped out for a swim. I swam fast, far far away from him and the boat. I turn around, and holy crap! he's two inches from me. I'm starting to think this guy is a total freak. The next two hours were spent dodging him in the water. However, no mater how fast I swam, the freak followed me everywhere. He went under the water and grabbed my legs. Bastard. I told him to stop. "ok" he said. He did it again. I told him to stop and that I DO NOT like to play in the water. "ok, you have my word". He said that when the boat came back with the raft that I would have to go on it with him. Hell no. He assured me he was medic-trained and that I had no need to worry. Hell no. After dodging him for an hour, he finally swims away. Yes! He returns shortly though, hugging a floating ball. He informs me that he got the ball so that I can use his body as a flotation devise. WHAT?! He says he doesnt want me to use all my strength treading water. During the course of events, Kenny jokes around about proposing to me. the freak yells, "Stand in line! I'm trained in survival, so if we fight, I'll totally win". At one point, Jason started skipping rocks. I comment how cool that is, so the freak goes over and starts throwing rocks for 10 minutes. While he's distracted, Emily and I swim far away. He lurks and watches us for 30 minutes. He finally got out. Whew! I'm am rid of him! I decide to wait for him to leave before i get out of the water. He never leaves. An hour passes. He's still there. I see him talking to someone and pointing at me, so I wait some more. When I finally do get out of the water, I find that he is taking pictures and videos of me. Bastard! I yell at him and tell him that is rude. He asked if we could have our picture taken together. No! I told him I looked nasty after spending 6 hours in the water. He got very serious, and said, "Dont say that Angela. You look beautiful." That's just sick. I know exactly how I looked, and if liked that, then he needs to be shot. Then he asked me out. Good thing the dummy doesnt have a car otherwise I would be in trouble. I had to say yes because there were other people listening...what else could I do? He has my number, but I'll be sure not to answer any strange phone calls anytime soon.

Last night Emily, Christine and I stayed up late, our minds still hurting from the experience. Eventhough they weren't the one's being mentally and physically accosted, they felt my pain.

I learned a lesson from it all. You simply cant be nice to freaks. You give them an inch, and before you know it, thier oversized head with spit bits, crazy eyes, and slanted mouth are all over you.

Money spent buying burgers for 40 people: $60
Gas money spend on traveling to the activity: $6
The experience of being molested in every way by a freak egg-head: Priceless

My Dad wrote "Top 10" lists for me

Top 10 things overheard when Angels is on the phone:

10. No, Jake!
9. He's ten years younger than me...again!
8. I'm not sure I'm going to like him because I graduated with his mom and she was a brat
7. I'm gonna teach drivers ed so I can get the young guys in my car
6. I like bringing guys around to my political view, but it gets me down when they're too young to vote.
5. My boyufriend can't leave campus at lunch, but he can stay up til 10 o'clock
4. I threw another pencil at Justin. Come to think of it, I throw pencils at all the guys my age.
3. None of my boyfriends have ever filed a tax return but they get pretty good allowances.
2. I like to hang out wiht Christine because she's got the hook-up with the primary guys.
1. It really turns me on when they call me Sister Kirkham



ohh wait...it gets better.



Top 10 things said by Angela on a date:

10. Dont argue with me. you know its safer to sit backwards in your car-seat!
9. Wendy's or Sonic is fine with me but either way i'm going to burp you
8. I think 'somebody' needs a nap
7. your long pants make you look like such a big boy
6.I'm going to give you a lollipop fo rnot crying at the barber
5. I'll have the filet mignon and he'll have a Similac
4. thanks for going on a date with me, and yes, i'm sure i'm the Tooth-Fairy
3. If you dont go to prom with me, i'm not giving you that Sponge-Bob Square-Pants lunch box
2. Power Rangers, Power Rangers! Can we just watch Friends?
1. I'm taking you back to Mommy now, because I think I smell a stinky.

haha...yes, very funny. believe me, there's a lot more where this came from. fun at my expense! Pretty accurate though, I have to say.

Mother Nature, or whatever

to all those who dont know me, let me introduce myself. My name is Angela... I'm normal 15% of the time and an idiot the other 75%.

I feel better now having said that.

Do you ever wonder what people are up to at random times during the day? I always wonder to myself, "What's Lindsay Lohan (or some other Hollywood twit) doing while i'm waking up at the crack of dawn to drive to work where I dont make $100,000 for endorsing orange tan spray"?

I learned my friend was in the ICU this weekend and nearly died. Wow. What was i doing at that moment? Probably swimming, star-gazing around a campfire, or shopping. I have no point. Just a thought. It's just so wierd to me.

What's George Bush's day like? Does the guy ever sleep? He's busier than I am an he still finds time to excercise and I can't find an hour to get my butt to the gym. I wonder if he has a favorite flavor of Blue Bell ice cream. Do you think he has HEB Hill-Country-Fair products at his ranch? I think it would be really fun to chill with George for a day or two. He has a truck!

My dad was watching TV's funniest bloopers tonight. I like to hear my dad laugh...especially when i'm in another room and i can hear him laugh so hard he starts to cough. He has a contageous laugh. I'm happy he's 54.

There's this guy who sits behind me in my statistics class. He's fat, hairy, and talks a lot. Did i mention irritating? Stats is not easy for me..i have to hang on every word my professor says. While trying to listen...the fat, hairy man will say, "Now what did he just say? Did you hear what he just said? I didnt hear how to solve the problem". I'll ignore him but he keeps on til i answer him. Even if i know the answer, I just say, "I dont know" and turn back around. Still, wouldnt you know in the two seconds it took me to say that, I am somehow completely lost and on my way to failing stats. My jaw starts to stick out I want to shove the hairy man over, full well knowing that if I did, he wouldnt be able to get up for 30 min...which is all the time I need to learn what my professor needs to teach me. If the fat, hairy guy was deaf, I would have pitty on him. But he's not. The reason he cant hear anything is because he typing emails and checking out Ebay. He seems to be a fairly good typist...I know that because he types fast and loud the entire f-ing class. Even today, during our final...yes, while everyone else was scrawling out equations, the fat, hairy beast was f-ing typing an f-ing email! The only thing that saved that fat, hairy, f-ing beast was the fact that I had studied and knew what I was doing. Because believe me, if I had been needing the extra concentration, that fat, hairy, beast of a man would have been toast. Which brings me to another thought...perhaps I should save such anger for people like this fat, hiary beast in stead of bestowing it upon my friends who I tend to throw hissy-fits and highlighters at. Yes, good idea. I will be mean to those fat, hairy beasts who deserve it , and not mean to those who dont.

For those who want to see that fat, hairy f-ing beast, I unfortunately have a class with him this fall. I will sneek a picture of him and post it for all to see. I'm also sure there will be more...many more...fat, hairy man stories to tell once that class starts.

birds

i know nothing about birds. do pregnant birds fly? i dont think i have ever seen a pregnate bird flying around...maybe a pigeon...but they always look fat and preggo. if it doesnt fly when pregnant, who feeds it? the doting male birdie? how long are they pregnant for? do they lay all of thier eggs at the same time or one a day...or one an hour....or every 5 min? they cant possibly have all 5 eggs inside thier tiny litty bodies at once. then again, maybe they do lay them all at once because they tend to all hatch at the same time right? i just dont know!!